I’ve mentioned the Scarsdale Summer Music Theater on the blog before because being in that company changed my life. It gave me confidence and friends and as an adult provided the inspiration for my novel. When I think about my time in theater I think about the friends I made, the community and the camaraderie. I don’t only think about the actual performing or what level of talent I had or didn’t have. As I said last week on Crazy Town, I haven’t seriously considered becoming an actor since I was 16. In the last few weeks, though, the old SSMT producer has been putting videos up from different shows that I was in. The other day he put up I Got Rhythm from Crazy for You, the only play I ever had a lead in.
I watched the video through my fingers because I did not know what to expect. After watching it, I did not feel shame or embarrassment, I felt pride. I was proud of myself for being able to sing and dance the number in the video. I started comparing myself to the high school star quarterback who spends his whole life talking about that time his team won the state championships. When I watched the video I wanted to tell everyone about it. I wanted everyone to see it and be excited about what I accomplished once upon a time. I held back because I didn’t want anyone to think I was bragging or boring them with my glory days.
You know what though? I can be objectively proud of this video. Crazy for You is something that I accomplished. There was a time in my life when I could do all the things that I watch my students do now. A time when being on stage was the happiest I could ever be. That time has passed, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or that I can’t be amazed by what I was once capable of.
So here it is. Its 12 years old and as much as I would like to believe I could do this all again tomorrow, we all know what the truth is.